The English-to-springs1 Translator
It is exceedingly difficult to take normally intelligent text and make it stupid. However, it is terribly easy to make it look like it was written by a stupid person (namely springs1). Simply type (or paste) your text into the box and click "translate," and it will appear as springs1 would have typed it!
The English-to-springs1 Translator is code that is blatently ripped off of Lucas Longley's English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator. Sorry.